youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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