Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
