Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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