I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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