I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
