Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
