break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
