please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he puts the penis in happiness.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
