Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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