she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
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You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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