I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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