Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
