dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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