everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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