For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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