You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
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I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
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I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I think i got beer on your cat.
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