YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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