Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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