yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
