maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
