I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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