The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
