you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
