My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
