Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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