I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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