glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize