He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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