I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
