as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
