hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
