i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
