hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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