When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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