It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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