i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
