Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
