so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
