k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
