and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
