So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
In America we eat man semen.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
