I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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