he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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