So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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