Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
