And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
