WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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