I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
