I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
