i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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