I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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