My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
