How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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