Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
