dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
