Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
