how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Still dying that you shit outside
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
