The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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