I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize