I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
