ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
