i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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