I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
