I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize