woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Panties = found
Randomize
