so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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