Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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